Middle Child

HELLO! This week's topic is to describe what the "third" option is for children to keep heritage and respect but still be progressive in creating their own identity.
So.. what is a middle child? The one born between the first and the second? The one with moderate ideals? The one with average grades? Yes and no... The middle child could be born in the middle, could have give-and-take ideals and/or average grades. But this idea of a "third" option is complicated. This "Middle Child" has to be able to balance heritage whilst detaching themselves from "unattractive" traits of such said heritage.
The moment I read the prompt I couldn't find a better way to explain this other than using  Mulan 2. First of all, most Disney movies have their heroines break free from tradition and seek "adventure in the great wide somewhere". Belle, Pocahontas, Ariel, and Mulan herself, but in this super amazing sequel to one of the most awesome Disney movies ever created, there are 3 literal characters; each with different ideals.

• Ting Ting- super traditional, wouldn't DREAM of falling in love with someone her father hadn't engaged her to. Her only purpose is to represent China and that is final! She is the oldest sister and constantly tells Su and Mei to follow her footsteps and behave respectfully. She will make a great Empress.

 

• Mei- obviously the crazy one that hates tradition and just forgets it all to fall in love with Yao. She is the other extremity, completely wants to break apart and "BE LIKE OTHER GIRLS!"

• Su- she is like Mei in that she wants to be herself, but she also respects her tradition. She is shy and quiet, the way she was taught, but is also not afraid of wanting to not be perfect all the time. You could say she is the middle of Ting Ting and Mei.
  

So if that is the case, how do you achieve it? How are you, a real person, supposed to act? How can you honor/celebrate/respect your parents culture but establish your own identity? This is one of the hardest things for people to do. I moved to the U.S when I was 8, i have lived half my life here and half my life in Venezuela. The biggest problems i have with establishing "my own identity" are my culture and traditions. But not really in religion, or other main aspects of cultural identity. I speak Spanish at my house and i still have my Venezuelan accent and use the colloquial dialect of my region. However, there are some things i can't comply with, like:

• Educational Habits
• According to my mother i have an extremely strange school schedule. I don't take enough classes, i don't study enough, i don't divide correctly. It's little things like that that make me FEEL rejected.
• Social Acceptances
• In Venezuela, by the time you are 16 you are considered an adult. Period. By then you are in college, but you still live with your parents. I'm 16, but the moment i get into college i'm out! That is another thing that makes me feel detached, both my parents lived with family until their late 20's and i can't say that that's what i want. 
• Duties
• Out of all of them, this one bothers me the MOST. Since 16 year old Venezuelans behave like 20 year old Americans, for the past 4 years i have been nagged at to do certain things that i am NOW getting around to. When i turned 12 it was like all of a sudden i was 20. But how do i tell my mom that i didn't want to do those things and verbally reject the culture i grew up in from day 1 until i turned 8.

So the question still stands; how do i honor my parent's culture, my culture, without being completely submissive or fully reject it for the one i developed in? It's not easy, i think it just comes down making a decision. Of course you are going to have to concede on some things, and others you are going to have to keep and pass it down to your children and just hope that THEY keep it instead of disregarding it. I came up with the following list of what to keep and how to keep it.

• Language/Dialect- whatever language or dialect your parents used around you as a little kid, those first few words you learned besides "mom" and "dad", is worth considering to keep. This doesn't mean limiting yourself to strictly that but know it enough so its natural and you feel comfortable around it.
• Story- You should know some sort of history about your family, it doesn't have to be extensive but just enough to where you feel like you have roots, this will increase your sense of "loyalty" to your family.
• Cuisine- one really nice thing to know for yourself and your family is to learn to cook exact meals your parents cook, its a nice touch and your parents will be so happy. And now you know how to cook at least something!

Now, again those are just suggestions- I'm 16, what do i really know? But some things you should be able to gain by not being super dependent on your family traditions are:

• Ambition- you need something that makes you happy to pursue and be passionate towards outside your family's norm.
• Acceptance- by opening up yourself, you need to be open-minded about what you are going to encounter.
•  New Beliefs- this one is a bit of a stretch and is very vague. What I mean is that a progressive way to "celebrate" your heritage isn't to strictly believe things that have been believed in always, but if you are open minded you might find yourself believing in things your parents don't and that is okay! It helps keep the balance between loyalty and independence.

Although everything can be really hard to understand or justify to yourself, you just need to make a decision. If you don't decided or regret going towards one side, you WILL be unhappy and live in an uncomfortable state. In the end, it comes down to picking which one of the princesses you want to be, Ting Ting, Mei or Su.